cattailsandcattales:

urbies:

Great moments in tv history

The best part is how the hand giving the cigarette doesn’t belong to anyone in the room—no one is wearing that shirt.

                                                   I want a night
                                                       with you.
                                                   I want to close
                                                     the curtains.
                                                I want to lay in bed
                                              and feel you breathing.
                                               I want the only noise
                                                   to be my inhale
                                              replying to your exhale.
                                           I want to trace my fingers
                                           along every line and curve
                                                    of your back.
                                            I want to feel your face
                                              buried into my neck.
                                              I want to lay like this
                                              and feel every worry
                                                        melt
                                          the same way that I melt
                                              when I am with you. 

lucithor:

mtrenchie:

do you ever say something and then 2 seconds later realize no no nOo nOONONOO I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAT

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mysteryplantgirl:

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

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LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

this makes my heart smile

foxnewsofficial:

you lose indie points if your fave band has a wikipedia page or any google search results

vergiltarian:

sitting down and remembering you left your drink in the kitchen

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nehirose:

tehjai:

steel-plated-hearts:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 

“POTTER.”

He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

this continues to be one of my favorite things

jawnz-jumpa:

spoken-not-written:

who-lligan:

artbymoga:

promising-promises:

princesssugarbutt:

So yeah I can see how many fingers you’re holding up

THIS IS VERY ACCURATE

THIS IS VERY BEAUTIFUL

Is this accurate? Is this what it’s actually like to not be able to see clearly?

yes

So if anyone ever wants to know what you see whenever you take your glasses off, this is it. It’s like looking underwater

abbyjean:

Charts from OKCupid, showing how straight women and men rate each other based on ages. For women, the men they find most attractive are roughly their own age. For men, the women they find most attractive are roughly the same age - 20 to 23 - regardless of the age of the man. (538)

eosthetic:

always say thank you to the bus driver and the crossing guard and the cashier and the person holding the door for you this is crucial

next♥